Letter to my Schlong

I don't deserve you. I have FAILED you. There are so many girls I want to bone, and I have wanted to introduce you to and insert you into SO MANY hot vaginas but because I am so shy I have been unable to do so. I hope things change soon, and I assure you I will make the necessary adjustments. The bottom line is, however, that I have let you down and I am ashamed. Sincerely, Sebastian